Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day... but where's the romance?

Romance. Its what makes the world go round. Or so they say. And while I try to remain focused on my personal and professional goals, my skills as a parent, and my achievements in life, I'd love to have just a bit of romance every once in awhile. A kind word from my husband, a compliment even. Today I did receive a lovely Valentine's Day card, lots of sweet words penned by some unknown pawn of the greeting card industry, and the sentiment was much appreciated.

I know that Nic is a typical British male -- unexpressive, shy, lacking in grand emotions. Sometimes I wonder if it goes deeper than that. Probably doesn't, but I'm a woman, and since we're stereotyping, we're supposed to overanalyse things. We have ideas about the way that men are supposed to be, the things that they're supposed to say -- the way that they should tell us often, and sincerely, that we are the most beautiful beings in their world, the way that they should get down on one knee to propose after having ensconced us in a most romantic setting, the way that they're supposed to cry when we bring forth their offspring from our bodies, the way that they're meant to worship us in our new roles as mothers to their children. But they don't. They notice the way that we haven't lost that "last 5 lbs", the way that our faces look older after over a year without a decent night's sleep, the way that we've replaced our sexy miniskirts with practical crawling-around-after-the-baby clothes. And on these things they comment.

Perhaps its just me, perhaps the rest of the husbands out there are romantic flattering fools. Enjoy them. Mine hasn't said a nice word about my physical appearance since, well, ever. Unless in the context of sex, and quite frankly guys, nothing that you say in the context of sex counts. I'm not complaining, honestly, I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful son, and a perfect life. Its just that there's this day, this romantic day, and on this day I wistfully think about all of those romantic notions with which I grew up. Maybe I can infect my son with a bit of it and make another woman's romantic dreams come true one day.


betty said...

Your post made me chuckle! I think things definitely changed after we had our 1st child. My DH (not having had any experience with babies or children) was totally surprised and shocked at how time-consuming babies are and that I was required to spend nearly all of my waking moments taking care of our infant (and ignoring him in the process)! I remember thinking to myself...what does he expect...someone has to take care of our helpless baby girl so that she would survive! LOL. Nearly 3 years of sleep deprivation nearly killed us too!

But, I do agree with him, that it would be nice if we could spend more quality time together. For me, even a little thing like getting a hug from him after he comes home from work would do wonders for me! :)

Nicola said...

Yes, it did change life. I don't think that Nic was prepared for that either. He'd never changed a diaper, let alone had an understanding of the all-consuming nature of a baby. He's adjusting.

Last night, after Kellan was finally settled, I came out and asked Nic if he'd like to play a game (ie a board game). I sat down at the table and he said, "Oh, I thought you meant that kind of game that you play without clothes on"! And good for him, as I sometimes forget that we get so few moments while we're both awake and the baby is asleep. Must make the most of them!